Talk Show
by Smiles1998
Summary: "WE OWN NOTHING! THIS IS PURELY FOR FUN!"-A collaboration between me, Brightcloud 0915, and KJ Shadow. In which we're basically the host of a show that takes ANY fictional character from under the sun and puts them in here. Let's see how long they last... ;)


"I'm telling you Brightcloud, just leave the introduction to me, and I'll have everything under control!"

"Smiles, you never have anything under control. In fact you're the exact opposite of control."

"You can't let me have anything can you?"

"Nope!"

Smiles rolled her eyes at her friend's satisfied smirk. "Look, if you don't leave me in charge of the introduction, then I'm going to 'help' KJ~Shadow backstage. And by that I mean annoy our guests so much they'll try to kill me before the actual story starts. Do you want that to happen?"

"I'm tempted to say yes... But fine, just leave the studio in one piece! I paid a lot of money for this set and I don't want you blowing it up!"

"I would never blow the studio up!" Smiles protested, and after seeing Brightcloud's raised eyebrow, she added bashfully "Well, not on purpose..."

"Just make sure we actually have a place to do the show when I get back."

Brightcloud told her friend before walking back-stage to check on her cousin.

"You won't be disappointed, Cloudy!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Oh just run your little test on the bread cannon!" Smiles waved her friend off as she made her way over to a plush, leather couch in the center of the studio. She cracked her fingers and pulled out a laptop.

"Now, let's see what I can do about the introduction and theme song... Ooh! I like this song! Announcer voice, eh? Hmm, they say Voice Number 4 is a good choice. Add a couple of computer animation and pre-shot video footage... and... Done! Now, time for a little play- back." Smiles rubbed her hands together and pressed play as the camera zoomed in on her laptop screen, revealing the intro she made.

The show's logo appeared on screen as the music to Cee-Lo Green's Bright Lights, Bigger City started to play.

'_I've been living for the weekend but no not anymore. 'Cause here comes that familiar feeling that Friday's famous for, Yeah, I'm looking for some action and it's out there somewhere! You can feel the electricity all in the evening air! And it may be just more of the same, but sometimes you wanna go where everyone knows your name! So I guess I'll have to wait and see but I'm just gonna let something brand new happen to me!'_

The next image on camera was of Smiles1998 playing laser tag with The Phantom of the Opera, Beetlejuice, and Mabel Pines, and win. Only to have the Phantom try to use his Punjab lasso on her.

'_And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright. It's alright! Bright lights and the big city belongs to us tonight... Tonight, tonight!_'

The next image on camera was of Brightcloud0195 having coffee with Ash Ketchum and Pikachu and Brock. Brock then tries to flirt with Cinderella, who is dressed as a waitress, and is then shocked by Pikachu on behalf of Brightcloud.

'_Now Friday's cool but there's something about Saturday night you can't say what you won't do 'cause you know that you just might. I'm alive this evening, it was love at first sight this Saturday and every Saturday for the rest of my life and everyone standing in line. Yeah, looking good and looking for a real good time. So I'll never have to wonder if, I'll have someone to share_ _all of this with!_'

The next image shows KJ~Shadow playing Mario Kart with Eren Yeager and Armin Arlert. KJ wins and, in his rage, Eren punches a wall and nearly destroys the entire building.

'_And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright. It's alright! Bright lights and the big city belongs to us tonight... Tonight, tonight!_'

As the camera backed away, revealing a loudly applauding audience filled with characters from movies, cartoons, books, anime, games, and all other sorts of fandoms and a stage that was decorated in the most modern but comfortable gamer amenities (such as beanbag chairs, leather couches and loveseats, a white shag carpeting, and an oak coffee table).

"_**And now, here are your hosts, she's a book-smart ninja who has most of the characters from Assassin Creed on speed-dial: It's Brightcloud0915!"**_ The audience applauded as said author ran on stage to thunderous applause.

"_**Next, she's deemed criminally and non-criminally insane in most states of America: it's Smiles1998!"**_ Said author did a rock-star slide onto the stage, only to crash into the coffee table. The audience (And Brightcloud) busted out laughing.

"_**And last, but definitely not least, she's a fan of a boy who can transform into a raging monster, and has enough weirdness in her body for both her and her cousin, say hello to: KJ~Shadow, everybody!"**_ Said author started Michael Jackson moon-walking on to the stage, did a little turn and noticed Smiles still lying face-first on the table.

"What happened to her?" KJ asked her cousin. Brightcloud sighs.

"You don't want to know. Anyways here is our first guest Javert," Brightcloud says. Javert walks in, and the audience applauds.

"So Javert, how are you doing?" Brightcloud asks politely, ignoring Smiles groan of pain.

"Very well thank you," Javert replies stiffly, "Now can we please get on with this. I have to get back to my job sometime today."

"Keep your shirt on," Smiles suddenly speaks up, making everyone jump.

"You're up early. I thought you'd be down longer," Brightcloud deadpans. Smiles glares a little but then grins.

"You're probably right, but I was too excited to speak (read torture) Javert here," Smiles says brightly. Brightcloud backs away.

"Now FIRE!" Smiles yells, and a loaf of bread flies out of nowhere hitting Javert squarely in the head. Said inspector falls to the ground stunned from impact. This was due to the fact that said hosts bought a canon to shoot bread at the poor inspector. Smiles starts laughing uncontrollably, and walks over to her seat and sits down. Brightcloud shakes her head sadly before copying her co-host.

"You really live up to your insanity. KJ please get the smelling salts, and try to get the inspector back on his feet," Brightcloud says.

"Aw… thanks," Smiles says grinning.

"Sure thing Brightcloud I'll be right back," KJ says before exiting to find the bottle of salts.

"That wasn't a compliment, but I can see you took it as one," Brightcloud sighs, "While we wait for KJ to get back how about we call in Discord?"

"Sure just let me get ahold of him," Smiles said cheerfully while Brightcloud grimaced. Smiles leaves to call in Discord, and reappears with the strange dragon like creature following her.

"So here we are with Discord. So first question what is it like to be you?" Brightcloud asked. Discord looked thoughtful before answering, then with a snap of his lion-paw fingers, a cup of chocolate milk appeared in his hands. Said creature took a sip of the cup (literally, he drank the entire cup and threw the milk away) before replying:

"Just a hoot! Literally, you never know what to expect in the day of the life of handsome ol' me!" Discord snapped his lion-paw fingers again, and the chair next to the still dazed inspector turned into a throne.

Brightcloud just stared on in confusion, while Smile's face became a big grin. The former author leaned towards her friend and whispered, "I can see why you wanted him on this show. That's a male, pony, lizard… chicken… goat… antelope… other various animals version of you!"

"You forgot lion there, dude," Smiles pointed out.

"And I might add bat and Pegasus, if you don't mind," Discord said, suddenly appearing behind the two hosts, startling Brightcloud a little bit, much to Smiles amusement.

"That's also why I brought him here, he can do the one thing I can never do to you."

"And what might that be?" Discord asked. Even Brightcloud was curious.

"Scare her."

"I was not scared!" Brightcloud protested.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night Cloudy…"

"I said don't call me that!"

Discord inhaled deeply before sighing pleasantly and floating his way back over to the throne.

"Now this is good chaos."

"Watch it there Lion-Paw," Smiles warned the draconequus, "You're supposed to be reformed."

"What? Can't a guy enjoy a few simple samplings of chaos?"

"If this is going where I think it's going, you're going to get more than a few," Brightcloud remarked dryly.

"Speaking of chaos, I just _loved_ what you did to that poor fellow right there!" Discord laughed, and jabbed his talon-thumb-thing towards the still unconscious Javert.

"Using that bread canon was pure _genius_!"

"Aw, thanks! That means a lot coming from a renowned prankster such as yourself!" Smiles blushed and grinned broadly.

"Discord, while it is to my understanding that you are the 'Spirit of Chaos' I would be grateful if you did not encourage her," Brightcloud deadpanned again.

"Oh! That reminds me, I better go swipe some bread from the canon before Captain Hook here wakes up," Smiles smiled before starting to skip back stage.

"Why Captain Hook? And what are you going to do?" Brightcloud asked suspiciously.

"As for the first question; I dunno. And for the second question; _Twists and Turns are my master plan! Then find your elements, back where you began_!"

"You just made less sense than you normally do!" Brightcloud shouted after her friend.

"Hmm… now I wonder where she got that from?" Discord, who was suddenly dressed like an old-timey movie director, asked as he appeared beside Brightcloud, who didn't jump this time. A script with the title: _'The Return of Harmony-Part 1'_ was what he appeared to be reading through.

After a quick glare from Brightcloud, the draconequus smirked and poofed back to his throne, just as KJ reappeared with the bottle of smelling salts.

"Took me awhile, but I got 'em!" The girl knelt down and stuck the bottle under the inspector's nose, said man then jerked up and started to gag due to the smell.

"What was that for?!"

"You had been knocked out by some bread my good man," Discord informed him, a small smile on his face, evidence that he enjoyed Javert confusion.

"How?" Javert questioned.

"Me," Smiles said, walking back onstage with her hands behind her back.

"And where have you been?" KJ asked.

"Just getting some bread from the bread canon so I can actually participate in our first segment of the show! A little something I like to call; _Torture the Fool_!"

The scene switched from the smiling host to a segment of Smiles torturing random characters in different ways—Sicking a giant sandworm on Beetlejuice, Suspending the Goblin King over the Bog of Eternal Stench, locking Scar alone in a room full of the dumbest hyenas she could find, and so on—before the segment's logo appeared on screen with a splattered pie behind it.

"Today's first fool, just happens to be Inspector Javert!"

"I don't like where this is going…" Javert trailed off uneasily.

"You don't? Because I'm on the edge of my seat with excitement!" Discord smiled as he munched on a piece of popcorn from the bowl he made appear (it's also to be noted that he transformed his throne into a section of Movie-Theater seats).

"What's going on here?" KJ asked Brightcloud.

"Just watch, you'll laugh trust me," Brightcloud reassured the author.

"And today's torture device is; bread… Why more bread you ask? Observe, fine audience members," Smiles smiled sweetly before turning towards the now wary inspector, a pure, malicious, angry scowl appeared on her face as she began chucking bread at Javert.

"HERE'S NINETEEN YEARS' WORTH OF BREAD! EVERY YEAR OF TORTURING MY HOMEBOY VALJEAN TO YOUR FACE! OH! AND HERE'S THE BREAD FROM 1815 TO 1832! EIGHT MORE YEARS' WORTH OF BREAD! BUT YOU SAID TEN YEARS ON THE RUN SO HERE'S SOME MORE BREAD TO TEACH YOU HOW TO COUNT! OH, AND ANOTHER NINE YEARS TO 1832! HERE'S YOUR STUPID BREAD JAVERT! _ARE YOU HAPPY YET?!_" Smiles screamed as she chucked bread at the poor inspector. When she ran out she stopped, cleared her throat, and shrugged.

"I'm thirsty. I need water," then she walked off-stage again.

Discord, who had eventually rolled onto the floor because he was laughing so hard, was the only one still laughing as the author left to get a drink. KJ and Brightcloud, were trying to control their mirth.

"You were right, I did like it!" KJ smiled.

"Told you, anyway, back to reality. So Inspector Javert… What's it like being you?"

"A dreadful existence," Javert said, brushing himself off and taking a seat in his chair.

"Always having to chase down a pathetic parole-breaking thief-"

"You do know you didn't have to chase this man down right?" KJ asked.

"Oh but I did! He broke the lawr, and those who break it must be punished!"

"I can see why she threw bread at you…" Discord mumbled, chewing on his popcorn kernels in a bored manner.

"Tell me about it, so Discord… You're the Spirit of Chaos, mind giving us a small demonstration?" KJ asked.

Said creature smirked in reply before cracking his knuckles, and with a flamboyant wave of his talon-paw, he snapped his fingers and the stage suddenly darkened and a non-sound effect thunder crash was heard.

KJ, Brightcloud, and Javert glanced up to see what appeared to be:

"Are those cotton candy clouds?" Brightcloud asked skeptically.

"Yep! And it gets better!" Discord replied gleefully.

That's when it started to rain chocolate milk.

"Chocolate milk rain?" Brightcloud raised a brow, "I'm torn between saying _'Well, there goes this shows last chance of making sense'_, and _'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs anyone'_.

"Oh, now what fun is there in making sense?" Discord asked, lounging back in his seat, which was now a hammock.

"Hey Brightcloud, you never told me about this machine! When'd you buy it?" Smiles shouted from backstage.

"What's it called?" Brightcloud shouted back.

"Elemetal-izor! It has a picture of a diamond, balloon, apple, butterfly, lightning bolt, and odd shaped star on the side!"

Brightcloud raised a brow in confusion.

"I don't remember buying that machine. Bring it out here, so I can look at it!"

"Kay-Kay!" Smiles replied happily as she skipped back on stage.

"Here's the machine, Brightcloud!"

"Bring it over," the author told her friend. Smiles started coming towards Brightcloud.

"Just watch out for that one loose-floor board over there!" KJ warned Smiles.

"What loose-floor b—whoops! I'm tripping!" Smiles called out as she tripped on the very same loose-floor board KJ tried to warn her about. As she tripped, she let the Elemental-izor fall out of her hands and onto the floor. But instead of breaking, the machine just made a few beeping noises before it shot out a rainbow, right at Discord.

Before he could even react, Discord was turned into a stone statue, a look of mild surprise on his face. Javert, KJ, Brightcloud, Smiles, and the audience gasped.

"Dude, you turned him into stone!" KJ cried out in shock.

"Whoops. Heh-heh… While I go take Discord back to the lobby and try to find someone to chisel him out, let's bring in our next guest shall we?" Smiles smiled nervously. With that she began pushing Discord back-stage.

"It's probably best if she's not around," Brightcloud mumbled under her breath. Nevertheless KJ heard her.

"Why do you say that?" KJ asked.

"Because are next guest is an antisocial, delinquent, with bloodlust issues. Which reminds me…" Brightcloud trails off as she pulls out her cell-phone. She quickly dials a number.

"_Hello. Yes I would like to speak to Reborn. What do you mean I have to hold! I am not waiting 20 minutes! I don't care that he's busy just get him on the dang phone!"_ Brightcloud said.

"_Look I know it's sudden, but could you get over here? I know you're busy, but I need your help. It has to do with a certain bloodthirsty prefect. Yes I'll get you whatever you want, just please get over here,"_ Brightcloud said. She hung up ignoring the curious stares she was receiving. She then stands up and walks stiffly to where other guests are waiting. She peeks inside before growling, and walking through said room to the outside. Sounds of metal on metal are heard. Then Brightcloud reenters. A boy follows her in giving off a murderous aura.

"Herbivore, I don't like crowding," the boy said.

"Well too bad Hibari because you're stuck here until you answer some questions," Brightcloud snaps at said boy. She then duck as a silver weapon is swung at her head.

"Really? Look once you answer our questions, and survive Smiles' insanity then you can leave," Brightcloud said. Hibari said nothing before sitting away from everyone, and glaring menacingly at all. Smiles suddenly comes back and spots Hibari.

"Oooh… is this the guy you were telling me about?" Smiles asks. Brightcloud nods and sighs.

"Yep this is the head of Namimori's middle school disciplinary committee Hibari Kyoya," Brightcloud said, "Just try not to annoy him, because I paid good money for this studio."

"You worry too much," Smiles said cheerfully. KJ shared a look with Brightcloud.

"No I worry exactly the right amount," Brightcloud muttered. KJ sweatdropped before turning to Hibari.

"So Hibari you make your own rules when keeping the peace of Namimori, correct?" KJ asked.

"Hn," Brightcloud sighed at the reply.

"Hibari answer the question," Brightcloud said. Hibari glared at her.

"Fine, but you owe me herbivore. I do make my own rules," Hibari said. Smiles suddenly looked curious.

"Why did you call Brightcloud an herbivore? Aren't we all omnivores?" Smiles asked.

"I call anyone weaker than myself an herbivore," Smiles looked to Brightcloud for conformation.

"He's telling the truth. He considers himself a carnivore, and everyone weaker than him is an herbivore. If you're lucky he might consider you an omnivore. As far as I know though there is no one that he considers to be at his level," Brightcloud said. Hibari stood and walked over to one of the couches before lying down.

"Hn, herbivores I'm taking a nap. If you wake me up I'll bite you to death," Hibari said, "And just so you know even the sound of a leaf falling will wake me up."

With that being said Hibari fell asleep. Smiles, Javert, and KJ all looked at Brightcloud questioningly.

"It's true. I've seen him wake up when a leaf fell. Do not wake him up," Brightcloud said softly. She looked at Hibari before turning back to look at the others. KJ was looking at Hibari, making sure he was still asleep. Javert was staring at the ground, and Smiles was fidgeting while trying to remain quiet. Brightcloud saw this and threw her ever infamous 'Warning Look'.

"Don't. You. Dare."

"Ask a question! _Ask a question!_" Smiles whispered frantically. "Maybe then I won't end up killing all of us unintentionally."

"I highly doubt that," Brightcloud whispered.

"So, Javert," KJ whispered to the inspector, gaining his attention. "I may not have read the brick of a book, watched the musical, or gone to the movie that made you famous, but from what Smiles has been telling me, it's to my understanding that you're incredibly gullible."

"What?!" Javert whispered/shouted, only to be shushed by Brightcloud, who glanced back to make sure Hibari was still sleeping. Javert sheepishly backed down before glaring at the two authors. "I am _not_ gullible!"

"Oh really?" Smiles whispered, a mischievous look appearing on her face.

"Brightcloud…" KJ trailed off nervously, noting Smiles's look.

Brightcloud sent Smiles another 'Warning Look' only this time she added a scowl to it. "Smiles, don't you even—"

"Hey Javert look its 24601!" Smiles shouted.

"WHERE?!" Javert shouted, trying to pull out his night-stick, but ended up falling over in the process. Everyone started to laugh, but froze as they saw Hibari. They also noticed how the murderous aura returned, only now it was ten times worse.

"Really you had to go and wake him up. Oh man, where's Reborn when you need him?" Brightcloud asked no one in particular. Said author quickly stood and pulled out a short sword. KJ, Javert, and Smiles backed up. Hibari was now standing and glaring at every one.

"Hibari calm down. If you do, I might be able to find a way for you to fight Mukuro again," Brightcloud said. Unfortunately the bribe of fighting Mukuro was ignored. Hibari rushed at Brightcloud and swung one of his tonfas, which had appeared out of nowhere. Brightcloud dodged and then swung her sword, successfully catching the second tonfa as it came towards her head. A gunshot was heard followed by the sound of a ricocheting bullet. Everyone onstage looked to the left, and were greeted by the sight of:

"Is that a baby?" Javert asked incredulously. Said baby was wearing a suit and fedora with a small green chameleon sitting on it.

"Don't underestimate him Javert," Brightcloud said. KJ, and Smiles looked at Brightcloud strangely.

"Dude, I think I'm finally starting to rub off on you… But not in the good way…" Smiles trailed off. But much to her surprise, the infant jumped down from his vantage point and landed gracefully in between all stage members.

"Ciaossu," the infant said. Everyone blinked in surprise excepting Hibari, and Brightcloud.

"Baby," Hibari said, and to everyone's surprise, but Brightcloud's and the baby's, he put his tonfas away.

"Good to see ya Reborn. Thanks for coming on such short notice," Brightcloud said to the infant. Reborn inclined his head to her.

"You mean this is who you were contacting earlier?" KJ said. Brightcloud nodded.

"Yep, he's the only one who can stop Hibari," most everyone looked at Brightcloud as if she'd grown two heads, "Oh please don't tell me that you haven't seen that Hibari put his tonfas away. Reborn's the one that shot that gun. He's a hitman, and the world's greatest one if I might add."

Reborn smirked. Smiles eyes were glimmering mischievously.

"Could you give us a quick demonstration?" Smiles asked. Reborn looked at Brightcloud and quirked an eyebrow.

"You'll have to excuse her. She's never met a hitman," Brightcloud explained.

"Well I've never met one either," KJ said, "Well not personally."

"Yeah well you at least understand that it's not a good idea to ask one for a demonstration," Brightcloud said.

"Oh, and why's that?" Javert asked curiously. Brightcloud threw him a look that said 'Are you serious?'

"It's because the hitman in question may just choose you to 'help' in the demonstration," Brightcloud said evenly. Smiles backed away from Reborn although slightly reluctant.

"So Hibari, what's it like being the cloud guardian of the tenth generation Vongola?" Brightcloud asked.

"Where those even words?" Smiles asked KJ, who just shrugged.

"Interesting enough, even if I have to slightly associate myself with those herbivores," Hibari answered coolly.

"Uhuh, so… Reborn what was it like training Tsuna to become the boss of the Vongola?" KJ asked.

"Entertaining," Reborn answered simply.

"Entertaining huh. Well what was so entertaining about it?" Smiles asked.

"Tsuna's pain," Brightcloud muttered, only to be hit on the head with a giant green mallet, much to Smiles's amusement. Said mallet shrunk, and turned back into a chameleon.

"Jeez you sadist. Are you saying that you weren't enjoying causing Tsuna pain?" Brightcloud asked.

"Not at all, because I did enjoy it, but it was also enjoyable when Tsuna won the ring conflict, and changed the future," Reborn stated. Brightcloud sweatdropped, while KJ anime fell, and Smiles looked confused.

"Ring conflict? Changing the future? I'm confused," Smiles said.

"When are you never confused?" Brightcloud deadpanned.

"I hate you," Smiles grumbled angrily at her friend.

"I know. So if no one has any more questions for Hibari then he can leave," Brightcloud said. Smiles glanced at Brightcloud innocently before asking:

"Is it true that you have a soft spot for small animals, and little kids?" you could hear a pin drop as utter silence fell on the studio.

"I won't deny it but I won't confirm it either," Hibari said before exiting. Brightcloud glared at Smiles.

"What? I wanted to know," Smiles huffed.

"So, uh Reborn what do I owe you?" Brightcloud asked. Reborn headed off-stage and beckoned said author to follow him. KJ and Smiles shared an anxious look, but Brightcloud returned immediately.

"What did he want?" KJ asked.

"Who, Reborn? Surprisingly nothing, at least not at the moment. He told me he'd get back to me," Brightcloud said.

"Normally something like that would make me nervous." Smiles cringed. "Then again, I'm not part Ninja, so…"

"Well, Javert, I think that's all the time we have for you today. Unless _someone_…" Brightcloud threw Smiles a pointed look, "Has something to say."

Smiles shrugged. "Nah. I'm good."

"If it's all the same to you Mademoiselle Cloud, I'd have something I'd like to say to Mademoiselle Smiles."

"Go ahead," Brightcloud shrugged. "We get paid whether you say something or not."

"Wait, we get paid?" Smiles asked.

"I thought this was a Fanfiction." KJ whispered to Smiles.

"Mademoiselle," Javert stepped toward Smiles, who merely raised her brow, clearly unimpressed. "Please hold up one of your hands." The author complied, and was surprised when Javert clapped one side of a handcuff around her wrist and the other end onto the leg of her chair.

"What was that for?!"

"You launched bread at my person!"

"You deserved it!"

"I did not!"

"Actually," Brightcloud interjected, "I saw the movie, read the Wikipedia summary of the book, and listened to her rambling constantly about the musical… And I can safely say you deserved it."

"Besides, don't I get a fair trial?" Smiles asked.

"He's from nineteenth century France, they didn't have fair trials then!" KJ pointed out.

"But you do get this Yellow Ticket of Leave—" Javert was caught off by Smile's gasp of delight.

"Finally! I have the Golden Ticket, now I can go to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!" Smiles cheered as she somehow slipped out of the handcuffs and started dancing around the stage, leaving Javert standing there dumbfounded.

"Is she always like this?"

"Some days are worse than others." Brightcloud answered as Javert shook his head and exited. "Well, KJ, think it's time we bring out our last guest. Do you mind getting him?"

"Sure, what's his name?"

"Marius Pontmer—"" Brightcloud started to say

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Smiles screamed as she suddenly appeared behind her fellow hosts/authors, startling them. "Were you about to say Marius Pontmercy?"

"Yes… Back away from my personal bubble." Brightcloud told her friend.

"Ah crap, I wasn't expecting him until Episode 3! I gotta go change, I'll be right back!" Smiles dashed off the stage.

"Wait, why are you changing? You don't even like Marius!" Brightcloud shouted after her.

"That's why I'm changing!" Smiles shouted back.

"I got a bad feeling about this. KJ, go get Marius, and steal a weapon from Sir Didymus for his own protection. If Smiles comes back I'll stall for time."

"Aye, aye Captain!" KJ saluted before heading off-stage. Brightcloud turned to the audience and cameras.

"Well, our last guest of the day is an oblivious, dumb man who'd rather kiss the first spoiled blonde he's sees then look right in front of—ok, who wrote this teleprompter?" Brightcloud asked. "Because this seems a bit offensive in my opinion, and that's saying something!"

"I think Smiles wrote this one ma'am." A cameraman told the host.

"Yeah, that figures." Brightcloud sighed. "Look, all offense aside, here's Marius Pontmercy!"

The wealthy, Frenchman walked out on stage to mixed reactions from the audience, some audience members cheered while others booed him and threw various objects at him such as rotten tomatoes, shoes, or big rocks.

Marius was barely able to dodge these items. One particular audience member heaved a lawn chair at his head while screaming "YOU SUCK!" and the poor fellow was unable to dodge said item. It hit him on the head, causing Marius to fall to the floor, groaning in pain.

Brightcloud smirked. "I take it that there are some Marius fans in the crowd."

KJ, who had been hiding back stage, peeked her head out from behind the curtain. "Is it safe to come out now?"

"Yeah. Get out here. We're gonna need to form a human shield for this guy once Smiles comes back." Brightcloud nodded as she and KJ assisted Marius into a chair, KJ placing Sir Didymus's lance out and laying it on Marius's lap just as the poor fellow regained consciousness.

"What happened? Did a carriage hit me?" Marius asked.

"I thought the phrase was 'truck hit me'?" KJ asked.

"He's from Nineteenth century France." Brightcloud pointed out.

"And for the rest of the show… So am I!" Smiles announced happily as she hopped out onto the stage, now dressed as an Eppie-Bopper.

Marius glanced around the stage, still a bit confused, while KJ and Brightcloud just stared at their fellow author and her new choice of clothing in mild surprise and shock.

"Dude what the heck are you wearing?" Brightcloud asked her friend.

"What? This old thing?" Smiles smirked with false-bashfulness.

"Emphasis on _old_." KJ whispered to Brightcloud, noting the worn down skirt, blouse, and news-boy cap.

"I'm just wearing this to make Marius feel more…_welcome_…" Smiles said in a sickly sweet tone that unnerved not only the other three on stage but also the audience.

"Should… Should I be worried?" Marius asked fearfully.

"Yes, but don't worry, we got you protection." Brightcloud whispered to Marius, gesturing to the lance, before smiling and dragging Smiles and KJ to their chairs. "Now, to begin the final interview, Marius… wh—" Brightcloud was cut off by Smiles leaping from her seat and jumping onto Marius, yanking his shirt collar so he'd meet her menacing eyes.

"_WHERE WERE YOU JUNE 5__TH__AND 6__TH__IN THE YEAR 1832?!_" Smiles shouted.

"Can someone get her off of me?!" Marius shouted. Brightcloud dashed from her set and literally yanked Smiles off of the man.

"DUDE! We talked about this!" Brightcloud scolded Smiles as she set her friend back in her chair, the latter author pouting as it happened. "Now please, calm down, or I will get Reborn out here. Got it?"

Smiles sighed reluctantly. "Got it."

"Good. Now, Marius—all crazy Éponine-fan girl moments aside!—what is life like for you now after the barricade failed?"

"And were left with nothing but your wife, a dead father-in-law, and a lot of empty chairs at empty tables." Smiles added, smirking.

Marius's face became one of heartbreak as Brightcloud slapped Smiles on the back of the head for what she said. "It's… It's… difficult, at times. But I believe I'm moving past it."

Smiles opened her mouth to say something, but Brightcloud and KJ both threw their hands over her mouth, abruptly cutting her off. Brightcloud glanced apologetically at Marius. "Sorry man, we haven't exactly got a filter or muzzle for her yet."

"It's quite alright, I'm used to a few… what do you call them nowadays? 'Haters' every now and then."

Smiles was able to swat her friends' hands away before smiling at Marius. "So, Marius—"

"Here we go, this should be fun." Brightcloud replied sarcastically.

"I did a little bit of stalking—something you should be familiar with—and found out that you are a fan of the Twilight series—" Smiles smiled.

"What?! No I am not! I cannot stand that fictional garbage!" Marius huffed dramatically. The three authors blinked at him.

"I feel as though we've just upset a few people." KJ remarked.

"I feel as though Marius just unintentionally broke the fourth wall by being an unintentional hypocrite." Brightcloud echoed.

"I feel as though I should continue." Smiles smirked before turning her attention back onto Marius. "So, Pontmercy… Are you sure you're not a fan of Twilight?"

"I am most certainly not!"

"Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

"I do not like Twilight!"

"Who's your favorite character? Mine is the one who isn't Kristen Stewart." Smiles smirked.

"We just lost a few viewers didn't we?" KJ asked.

"It was bound to happen I just thought it wouldn't happen till next episode." Brightcloud sighed.

"Well, mademoiselle, I do believe you were a bit off on your assumption." Marius told the host coldly. "Now, mademoiselle Smiles—"

Smiles then reached out and slapped Marius across the face, surprising everyone. Marius turned toward the host. "OW! What was that for?!"

"I'm like Éponine. I am no mademoiselle." Smiles replied curtly.

"You just wanted an excuse to slap him, didn't you?" Brightcloud deadpanned.

"Yeah pretty much." Smiles answered as the other two host's sweatdropped. "Look, Marius. I'll let you leave right now if you just answer my previous two questions; _honestly_."

Marius fidgeted a little bit under Smiles's gaze, said author smirking victoriously as if she just won something, while her fellow hosts just shook their head at her sadly.

"I think you're enjoying this way too much." Brightcloud remarked dryly.

'"It's the little things, man. It's the little things." Smiles replied wistfully, causing Brightcloud to face palm and KJ to roll her eyes.

Finally Marius stopped fidgeting and exclaimed: "Alright! Alright! I do like Twilight and… I regret admitting this, but I'm team Edward."

_SLAP!_

"OW!" Marius screeched as he caressed the cheek Smiles just slapped. Again…

"I'm probably going to regret asking this, but why did you slap him?" Brightcloud asked.

"Again." KJ added.

"Because he shouldn't be Team Edward he should be Team Éponine!" Smiles huffed.

"You don't like this guy all that much, do ya?" KJ asked.

"Nope!" Smiles smiled. "Besides, Enjolras is better."

"Right." Marius droned sarcastically. "The lone survivor of the June Rebellion is much less spectacular compared to a hot-headed leader of—"

_SLAP!_

"OW!" Marius screeched again, cradling his other cheek.

"DUDE!" Brightcloud exclaimed, looking exasperatedly at Smiles.

"There was a mosquito!" Smiles shrugged in defense.

"No there wasn't…" KJ trailed off.

"Yeah, there wasn't." Smiles chuckled. "Alright Pontmercy, that's all the time we have for you and your darn lonely soul. You can go now."

"With pleasure." Marius remarked dryly.

"Oh, and if I were you, I'd hurry up and find Cosette." Smiles added, smirking wickedly. "I think I saw her and Montparnasse talking together and heading out to some Italian Place—" Smiles's smirk grew as she watched Marius's eyes go wide in fear. As he ran off stage, she hummed loudly and out of key the melody to _'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables'_.

Brightcloud smirked at her friend's antics as her and KJ got up from their seats and joined Smiles at the center of the stage. "Well, that just about does it for this episode. Thanks to all who actually clicked on the link and was able to put up with any of this insanity long enough to make it this far."

"Now, our next episode will be a spooky interview of movie characters that all of us have come across at least once in our lives." Smiles smiled brightly.

"That's right Smiles! Our next episode will be our first Halloween special and we'll be interviewing—wait for it… Tim Burton characters!" The audience burst into applause and started to cheer. "Now, assuming Smiles doesn't get to them first, we'll see you next week!"

KJ smiled at Brightcloud's remark. "That's right Brightcloud! Now, thank you and sorry to all the guest who we had on this show today! Remember we just borrowed them for today and none of them were harmed in the making of this show." KJ paused for a second before adding. "Well, except for the ones Smiles tortured. Other than that, we own none of the characters and none were unintentionally harmed!"

"Except for Discord. By the way what happened to him?" Brightcloud asked Smiles.

"I tried chiseling him out, but he is completely made of stone now! Right down to his core! I don't even know how to—"

"HEY!"

The audience gasped and then went silent as everyone (including the hosts) turned to see six brightly colored ponies (One unicorn, one allicorn, two Pegasus's, and two Earth ponies) and a tiny purple and green baby dragon narrowing their eyes at the hosts. The unicorn with a curly, royal purple mane stepped forward. "Is it true that a draconequus was recently on this show?"

The three hosts blinked before exchanging quick glances and the returning their gazes to the ponies and dragon before them. Brightcloud stepped forward cautiously. "Um… Yes, he was. Dare I ask who you all are?"

The baby dragon stepped forward. "I'm Spike. This is Twilight Sparkle," The allicorn nodded. "Fluttershy," The Pegasus with a light pink mane nodded shyly. "Applejack," The Earth pony wearing a cowboy hat tipped her hat in greeting. "Rarity," The unicorn narrowed her eyes even more. "Rainbow Dash" A Pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane seemed to be plotting the hosts' downfall. "And Pinkie Pie." An all pink earth pony was fuming at them and looked ready to pounce. "And we're friends with Discord, the draconequus that was turned to stone!"

"And we want to know whose fault it was. Now!" Twilight Sparkle stepped forward.

"Oh, that was me." Smiles chirped in. Brightcloud grabbed her friends arm and yanked her back quickly.

"Uh, I'm not so sure that's something you want to admit to. If those ponies are his friends, they might want to avenge you putting him in stone. Besides, they look _pretty_ angry…" Brightcloud trailed off, eyeing the group of ponies and lone dragon warily.

"Especially the pink one." KJ whispered. Noting the murderous look on Pinkie Pie's face.

"Guys, chill. The show they're from is literally titled _Friendship is Magic_. There most powerful weapon is pieces of jewelry that shoot out rainbows." Smiles shook her friend's hands off her shoulders. "I think I can handle this."

Smiles then calmly approached the Mane 6 and Spike. "Look, guys. I am the one who turned Discord into stone again, but it was pure accident! I just tripped and then a rainbow just shot out of the machine! Now, I know you all can be very friendly, so let's just all work together to free Discord from—"

"Let's get her!" Rainbow Dash shouted and then the Mane 6 and Spike charged at Smiles and began attacking her. Smiles tried crawling her way free, but Pinkie Pie and Spike dragged her back into the circle the Mane 6 had created around her.

"GUYS! GUYS HELP ME! AH—OH IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO BAD! GUYS HELP ME! THEY'RE NOT FRIENDLY! THEY'RE NOT FRIENDLY AT ALL!" Smiles screamed as the ponies continued to hurt her.

Brightcloud and KJ only smirked as they exchanged glances. "Should we help her?" KJ asked.

"Nah, she's had this coming for a while now." Brightcloud remarked before turning to the cameras. "Well, that's our show. Tune in next time!"

"And if you could, leave a review in the box! I'm KJ Shadow!" KJ smiled.

"I'm Brightcloud0195!" Brightcloud smiled.

"AND I'M IN HORRIBLE PAIN!" Smiles shouted as she tried to crawl away again, only to be dragged back into the circle again, screaming in terror and pain the entire time.

"Join us next time! Bye!" KJ and Brightcloud waved good-bye to the audience as Hot Chelle Rae's song Tonight Tonight started to play and the two remaining host started to dance. As the camera pulled away from the stage and started to fade out, the song and Smiles's screams and the audience's applause were all that could be heard.

Then the screen faded to black.


End file.
